The End of the Beginning

Is it only a shock to me that the year went by so quickly? All the birthdays, milestones, holidays... how did it all happen so fast?

Time for A Year in Pictures!

Snuggling with Grandma on her birthday.

Ringing in 2012

Getting some snuggles from Haylie.

First trip back to SVRHC.

First hospital stay at TMC.

Second family picture.

First outing to visit the Hideckers.

Falling asleep while waiting for her bottle

Snuggles with Auntie!

Bottle with Grandpa

First smiles

First hair turban

Meeting Minnie Diaz :)

Daddy time

Meeting Stephanie and her baby bump

Auntie Susan changing Emily's clothes.

Out to water plants with Daddy

First pedicure

First taste of rice cereal

Cuddling with Mommy

Bottle with Grandpa John

(They met her for the first time this week)

Awkward hug with Uncle Josh and Daddy

 

Last day of Grandma and Grandpa Morlock's visit

Sitting up on her own for the first time!
(5 Months)

First sippy cup

Relaxing in the backyard

Crazy faces!

 

Smiling with Auntie Melanie

Being cool with Grandma

Lessons in hygeine

Meeting Matt for the first time

Double-ponytails with Mommy!

Standing on her own!

(8 or 9 Months)

Yo Gabba Gabba with Daddy

Happy Halloween!

(And walking! Had been walking for about 2 weeks by the time this picture was taken. Could take up to 10 steps!)

Bath time fun with her buddy, Vivienne

So proud to be feeding herself!

Daddy is off to his first day of work at his new job :)

This is easily my favorite December picture.

Emily's first birthday!

Trying on her new boots

Christmas snuggles with Auntie Susan

Opening Christmas presents

Christmas at Grandma and Grandpa's

Showing off her teeth. I love this picture with her and my dad.

Still a happy couple. We have come a long way this year. It's been rough but I love that man.

Christmas family picture!

Grandma and silly Emily!

Grandpa getting his time in :)

This has been a very rollercoaster-type year and, to fully express it, I would have to literally post every single picture. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I know God has watched over us this whole year and I am so happy that I have this beautiful girl in my life. Thank you to everyone who has offered me a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on or made me laugh when things were rough. I love you all.

Wait, where were we?

We made it through the holidays!!

I should catch up because a lot has happened in the last two weeks...

First, I had a small get-together a few days before my birthday. My whole family was able to make it and a couple friends. I had a good time and enjoyed an afternoon focused on me, as selfish as it sounds. Emily gobbled down one of my strawberry cupcakes and really enjoyed playing with her pal, Vivienne.

A few days later, we celebrated Emily's birthday on the day before her birthday. She was able to Skype with Eric's parents but was very tired. When I took her upstairs for her bottle, she threw up. I thought it was a one time thing but she threw up a few more times before 1am. We were hoping she would wake up on her birthday and feel better but she was sick for 3 days :( I felt so bad for her but she seemed to have a great attitude and was only upset when she threw up. Also, her birthday brought her a new tooth and a new word: "Pretty." This was mostly in reference to the Christmas tree but she's working on the meaning. As soon as she was better, Eric spent the night throwing up.

The good news? They were both better by Christmas AND I didn't get sick. Emily was excited to open gifts but she soon was bored with that and just wanted her toys. Between her gifts from us and my parents, I don't know what to get her with the gift cards from my mother-in-law and Eric's grandmothers.

Emily had her one-year appointment yesterday and she is still in the percentile bracket that Dr. Smith said she needs to be at. She is 30 inches tall and 23lbs 1oz (2lbs grown since her 9-month appointment). I think she would've weighed more if she hadn't been sick but Dr. Smith said she is perfectly proportional. He gave the okay to start switching to milk and said it's time to say bye-bye to the bottle. So, today, we went out and got a transitional sippy cup that is supposed make it an easy transition. We shall see about that!

I think that catches us up. Oh, and Emily is finally eating well today. So she is basically stealing my food.

Freedom (written 12/13/12)

Emily is almost free from food restrictions! I love being able to give her new foods that aren't mashed or baby food. Since the month began, we have let her have potato soup, corn, hamburger helper, tilapia, chicken cordon bleu (minus the ham), grilled cheese, french toast (with and without egg) and we haven't had any belly issues or allergic reactions. I am waiting to start eliminating formula until after her Well Baby checkup.

I had some FREE AND ALONE time out of my house yesterday. Had lunch with my mom and two doctor's appointments but the point is, I went alone. Eric stayed with Emily and he said they made a fort. He still has a problem getting her down for a nap but I will be solving that soon.

Emily goes to bed for the night on her own without rocking or a bottle in her crib. All I have to do is give her the cupcake blanket and a pacifier and she will lay in her crib and go to sleep with her Billy Joel music-only CD. For her naps, I have still been holding her to get her to sleep. I realize that I should've started her naps as soon as she was good with her regular bedtime but I wasn't ready for that freedom. I am waiting until after the holidays since there is no way I can be consistent right now (since we will be out and about) but my goal is to have her napping without me holding her to fall asleep by the end of January.

Thanksgiving, Ebay, and New Jobs!

Well, we have made it almost a year. This month is busy!

First of all, Emily is practically running now. I am so proud. She's eating all of her snacks on her own and I am working on getting her to eat some of her lunch on her own. She is eating at least half adult food now.

We had a great Thanksgiving. All three of us went to my parents house and my sisters got to see her walking around in person for the first time. She had Thanksgiving dinner (more like lunch) with us and she ate pretty well. She is really getting the hang of regular food. We did our "i'm thankful's" and any time she was what someone was thankful for, she leaned her head to the side and smiled. She sure is loved!

This month, I started selling stuff on eBay and, yesterday, I made my fourth sale! With Christmas and Emily's birthday coming up, I can't wait to shop! Hoping to be able to spend a little extra on Eric for Christmas.

Speaking of Eric, a lot of you know this but he got a new job at Aaron's as a manager in training. He is excited and starts on Monday. Luckily, we are planning to use our tax return to move to town so we will be back in Sierra Vista in a few months!

Overall, life is good. Can't believe Emily is turning one in less than 3 weeks!

Hypocrisy

I try to keep in touch with the youth students that I helped minister on Facebook. I was a youth leader for 6 years before this break I'm taking and I met a lot of students in that time. I have also met a lot of youth leaders. I love hearing about how the previous students are doing and it always breaks my heart when they walk away or are having rough times. What I didn't realize is that it also works in the reverse way.

One of the youth students contacted me and was heartbroken because a previous leader no longer believes in God. It broke my heart too.

I mean, think of how much has been invested in these students. Or even as a leader of any group in the church. We have taught them that God prevails and to have faith in Him and that He saves and He is merciful and He is their friend. We have cried at altars with them, led them into worship, prayed healing over them, encouraged them with the Word, prayed in tongues with them, praised God for victories with them... and then what? We wish them well and pray for safe travels and they are gone.

Time goes by and, since no one worries about friends on their Facebook page, they remain on your Friends list. If we are careful and keep relationship with God, they see that. If we walk away from Christ, they see that. If we walk away, we aren't just walking away from God or even the church. We are telling everyone that we have ministered to or prayed with that it was a lie. And once you KNOW Christ is real and have felt His presence and blessings, how do you turn around and say, "I don't believe"?

"This is what the Lord says:

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who draws strength from mere flesh
and whose heart turns away from the Lord."

- Jeremiah 17:5, New International Version

I'm not saying that you can never step down from ministry. I did and it was to "fill my bucket," for lack of a better term. But walking away from Christ is totally different.

“But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
- Joshua 24:15, New International Version  

Speedy Emily

The last few weeks have brought a new and exciting talent: Walking. Emily took her first steps on my sister Susan's birthday on October 14th.

Let's review that. My daughter took her first steps SIX DAYS before she turned 10 months. I was not expecting this. Her highest distance/steps has been about 3 feet with 10 steps. In the last few days, she's been really determined. She's still doing short distances but I think she'll be really walking by Thanksgiving.

Unfortunately, this talent has come with many dangers. She's using her skills to walk cabinets, doors, and (yikes) r

----- BREAK -----

I started writing this blog entry two days ago. I stopped because, while I was blogging, my daughter speedily crawled away. I stood up to walk after her and she went behind the couch to stand at the window. Seconds later, she begins crying so I go to get her. As soon as I pick her up, blood starts running from her mouth.

Like I said, this talent comes with dangers.

She hit the back of her mouth with something - I think it was a wooden spoon because Eric and I let her drum on pots and pans with spoons and we must've forgotten one on the floor. Because of this injury, I called the pediatrician's office. She would barely eat or drink and the nurse said that the sucking motion will iritate her wound. Basically, she told us to push fluids so she doesn't dehydrate. She said it should be better by the next morning (which is was) because mouth injuries heal pretty quickly (which my mom and Alexis told me).

She was better by the next day and began her morning with 17 STEPS (click the link to see!). My little girl is becoming a walker. I'm not sure I'm ready for this.

 

My Time

I'm exhausted and I want to take some time for me.

The last six or seven weeks were rough before Eric got a new job so I didn't really expect to have a "me" day soon. Eric's been able to go out with the guys and our friends and that's only been because our friends are generous.

(By the way, this is NOT my way of saying to people that I want everyone to pay for me - I'm simply pointing out that he would not have been able to do it without them. So thanks.)

I normally stay at home because the gas is a lot of money to make multiple trips and so, when I want me time, I prefer to leave the house. When I'm home, even when she's napping, I clean the house and cook and take care of other things so that's not really a "break." I feel like there's an incorrect perception that, as a stay at home mom, you have plenty of free time. You don't. Since Emily's been mobile, if I want to clean, I have to have Eric watch her or wait till she's asleep. If I eat, I need to hold my plate at my chin so she doesn't reach it.

In spite of all of that, I love spending time with her. She's smart, funny, and concentrates so much on everything that its adorable. The only problem is, when I don't get a break, I get overwhelmed with the cleaning and her impatience and not eating without my fork getting stolen. I can't take a break at home because, when Eric watches her, I still am available to help her or clean.

I don't feel like a bad mom to know that I need time away. There was a girls' night on the night of the guys' night but I didn't go. That turned out to be a good thing because I was told the kids out-numbered the adults and relaxing wouldn't have happened. We go and see our friends (which I love) but when we go out, I take care of Emily most of the time we are out and that's not really relaxing for me.

I've realized that being a mom is a constant state of alertness. You are constantly making sure they either don't get hurt or don't swallow something they shouldn't. I got the gate for the stairs but she started trying to climb the gate and screams when she can't go upstairs. I really don't know how single moms do this. You know, those people have babysitters.

I was going to have time today but Eric had to work. Maybe I'll go Saturday. I just need to get out of the house and drive alone in the car without worrying about being a mom or wife or housekeeper or cook or safety patrol - I want to go to a movie or lunch, relax, and unwind.

Seasons Change

First of all, if you are still reading my blog after all of this time, thank you. I'm not sure who does (other than my mom).

This last week has been great. :) I started my diet on Monday last week and my 1-week measurements say I lost an inch and a half at my waist and hips! Its probably mostly water weight but it is NOT welcome to return. I enjoyed my treat on Wednesday night (popcorn and a mini-soda) and it was so easy to stick with it. Whenever I crave something on a non-treat night, I'm going to remind myself of those inches.

Also, Emily is tear-free at bedtime all week now! She has woken a few times after I've put her to bed but I think she's cutting another tooth. We had a visit from my parents on Saturday and she was out like a light by 8:55pm and slept past 7:00am. We almost didn't make it out for church. Today, she said "buh-bye" and "you" for the first time. She also learned to clap yesterday.

Best news - Eric was just offered a department manager job at Wal-Mart in Sierra Vista. He said we are a couple months away from moving because we need to take care of other things first (but I'm thinking it will happen after the holidays). We are still looking for a better job and PRAYING he gets an interview with the civil service job he applied to but this is a good step forward while we wait.

As for today? Today, I am proud that I made it a week on my diet, happy that my husband is employed at a better job, and excited that my little girl is making such progress.

New job, Emily's progress, and dieting! Oh my!

A lot has happened in the last few weeks so I guess I better update you!

First of all, Eric and I celebrated our fourth anniversary last week on Thursday. We had a roasted chicken for dinner and all three of us had dinner together at the table.

GOOD NEWS ALERT! Eric has a job as a manager trainee or shift lead or something at McDonald's. He's glad he's bringing home income but he is still seeking a better job. He admitted it felt good to work ONLY 8 hours at a shift. Instead of 15 hours. AND he got off on time AND he's able to go to youth on Wednesday and Fry Bread (our church's booth at Art in the Park this weekend). So, in spite of this not being what he planned, they are being really nice about giving him the time that he asked for church.

Emily has 3 teeth showing (two bottom, one top) and I think she has another top tooth coming in. She's crawling great, pulling herself up, and I think she'll take her first steps soon. She's saying "dada," "mom-momma," "wow," "baba," and now, "way." I think that one comes from us saying "no way" when she shakes her head at us. I started putting her to sleep on her own almost two weeks ago. The first two nights were really rough. Then, I added some structure and she's been improving since. I'm trying to take in all the advice that I'm getting and using what makes sense to me. She was really tired so she fell asleep before I put her in her bed last night but the night before, she cried less than 30 seconds before going to sleep. The crying has been the hardest part so I was a little happy that she fell asleep on the way to her room last night. She hasn't been up past 9:30pm and hasn't been awake before 6:30am for the day since she started going to bed on time. Even better, she hasn't woken in the middle of the night in weeks!

I'm not sure if it's actually helped in the nursery since she's going through an "only Mommy" phase, but she only cried the first five minutes and the last five minutes this past Wednesday and only a little bit on Sunday morning. Which apparently stopped when Lisa cuddled her. lol

Emily had her 9-month check-up. She weighs 21 lbs and 1oz, and she's 29 inches long now. That puts her in the 81th percentile for her weight and 86th percentile for height. She's healthy and we got the OK for allowing her to eat any dairy except regular milk. So, she's tried string cheese, shredded cheddar cheese, and vanilla yogur. She also had mashed potatoes with a little bit of sour cream in it and LOVED it.

As for me? Yesterday, I started the Abs diet. I think the hardest thing for me will be avoiding popcorn at nighttime - it's my only real weakness when it comes to eating healthy. I didn't give in last night, though, and that was my first triumph. This program is 6 weeks (initially) and working out is optional the first two weeks. I really want to prove to myself that I have enough discipline to stick with this all 6 weeks. The program allows you to cheat on the diet for one meal or snack a week so I think that's going to make it easier. Plus, it's not as restrictive as most other diets. Mainly, it's just eating healthy.

I didn't weigh-in before beginning since I don't have a working scale, but I'm going to be bold and post my starting points...

Size: 22
Measurements: 45-41-55

I'm hoping I'll be down at least one size by the end of six weeks. If I succeed, I'm going to try to keep this diet through the holidays and just make my cheat meals on the actual holiday. That being said, I probably won't get past my birthday (December 18th) because Emily's birthday (December 20th) is right after and then, Christmas.

It's a wonderful life

We are unfortunately entering another week of unemployment. And yet, I'm not discouraged. I'm weirdly serene about the whole thing. Maybe it hasn't hit me yet but I'm just so confident that my God is pulling through for us. I believe that Eric just hasn't found the job He has for him yet. I know it's coming. We applied him to a few promising jobs this weekend that I'm looking forward to hearing from.

On the home front, Emily is constantly progressing. If you haven't seen it yet, here's a video of her MAJOR crawling skills: http://youtu.be/SN9saAJTVsg.

She's saying "Mom-momma" a lot, which is so adorable. Before now, I could put her in her bouncer with the mobile in the bathroom while I took my shower. I realized I could no longer do that when I caught her crawling out of it! So, I let her roam my room while I shower and what does she do? Sit right in front of the shower and wait for me, legs crossed and arms folded. She's just such a joy. She just turned 9 months old a couple of days ago. She has two teeth now! I'm sure I'll look back at this blog entry when she's going to school and wish these days back so I'm taking every second in.

To sum it up: keeping my faith in God that everything is going to be amazing. No matter what.

My First Wednesday

Tonight, I went back to church on Wednesday night for the first time since Emily was born. I am glad that I did.

First of all, the Bible study - this is a perfect one for me to start with. Pastor Ken is doing this study on the book of Hebrews. Tonight seemed like just a taste of what we will be studying but it felt so right to finally be in an adult service for the first time in my life. After tonight, it was just a confirmation that I need to be there for now. As we were wrapping up, I finally felt something that I haven't really given myself the time to feel - hunger for Jesus. But not the same as when I was in youth ministry. It was a hunger for ME to get closer. It was so great to have that.

Emily stayed in the nursery and she just got fussy towards the end. I'm sure its because she was tired and she's still getting used to it. Either way, she was fine after :)

Then, there was my talk with Jen. I won't go into the details but she said some things that I know my heart needed to hear from someone who knew I needed to listen. It was all stuff that I've been thinking about lately so I know she is right. Its going to stick with me a while. Jen, if you're reading, thank you.

Now, I'm curled up in bed, excited about the weekend that we have planned and confident in Eric's job search and keeping my faith that God's taking care of all of it. Good night.

Getting easier... uh oh.

She's finally able to sleep during the last four days :)

Friday night, Emily slept without interruptions from 9pm to 5am and then cuddled up with me in my room till after 6am. Saturday night, she woke up once so she slept 9pm to 6:15am, minus about 20 minutes. Then, last night, she slept 8:55pm to 4:30am, then back to sleep until 7:15am.

I even got to take a nap yesterday morning! And a bubble bath two nights ago!

Basically, things are getting better than how it's been since she started teething. Also, I've been able to finally get in a good routine of cleaning, cooking, and finances. Now that everything is better, I bet she'll change it up. :)

 

Emily the Mischevious

This week has given me a run for my money!

I've already posted about the last couple of days and Emily's very speedy achievements. Last night, she said "Dada." :)

So, due to her progress, I realized last night that I needed to lower her crib. I'm not afraid to admit that I've been a procrastinating momma and this is actually the first time I've lowered her crib. That would definitely get me a ticket from the Mommy Police. But I lowered it last night and I realized how much more active my life is about to get with Emily's ability to be mobile.

First of all, I had to take basically everything off and out of the crib to get to the... shelf? I don't know what that thing is called... to lower the crib. During the time it took me to do this, Emily crawled into the wall twice, tried to unplug her night light, and crawled into the side of the ottomon of the rocking chair. Once I calmed her down all of those times, I was able to lower the crib. While I undid all the screws and reattached the "shelf" (until I can remember the word), she decided to explore her changing table. The bottom shelf of it has her blankets and the lesser used or bulk items. She decided to taste baby powder, throw all the blankets off, and try to get to the diapers on the middle shelf.

Once I got the mattress back in, I just let her roll around in the crib while I got the toys attached again and watched to make sure it was low enough. She could sit and kneel in the crib but she didn't try to stand. Since she couldn't quite get to the top rail (she couldn't get a grip on the side rails to bring herself high enough, I decided this is good. I called my friend Christina to ask her advice and she said that (from what I told her) it should be fine for now. Then, I got a call back from my mom that said she shouldn't even be able to reach the top rail and I should lower it another level.

Since Emily was getting anxious, I decided to look it up later and leave it for now. Especially since she was now trying to fit her chubby little arms through the side of the crib :) Guess I better secure those bumpers!

 

Rough night VS Good month

I had a rough night. Instead of telling you all about my rough night, I would like to focus on the victories that I've had this month instead.

- I started working out again. Yesterday. I bought a dance workout video and I did my first real workout since Emily was born. I know it took a while to get to it but I did it and that's the important part. I really enjoyed it so I know I'll do it again.

- Emily's firsts this month: First tooth, first time getting to a sitting position from laying down, first time pulling herself up to a standing position from sitting, first time turning herself onto her belly while sleeping and not waking up, first time sleeping 8 hours since her tooth started coming in, and first time crawling! She has been very busy this month.

- I made oatmeal cookies yesterday. And they are wonderful.

- We added $400 to savings finally because Eric got his bonus at work :)

- I bought a new purse yesterday.

- I had my first morning off (to myself) in six weeks. Last week.

- I started a new Bible study that I'm trying to stick to daily.

- I got a visit from a friend I haven't seen in over a year.

Overall, even though last night was rough and sleepless, my month has been pretty nice. So I'm going to make sure I don't sweat the small stuff.
 

A Day Of Firsts

Today, I realized how my little girl is growing up. Which I naturally never saw coming since she turned 8 months old yesterday.

She had 3 firsts today - she crawled, pulled herself up and kept herself there, and turned onto her belly while staying asleep.

I know this is weird but I'm the most excited about the last one. She has been waking herself up at night for the last month due to teething and, now that the tooth is in, she's been having a tough time going back to her regular sleep. I always sleep her on her side overnight because she won't sleep flat on her back and I normally put her on her belly for shorter naps (yes, she's a belly sleeper and she prefers it!). When she's been getting up, I've been rocking her back to sleep and letting her sleep on her belly.

I went in to check on her before bed (like always) and she had turned from side to belly without waking. I know that seems small but to me, she's soothing herself like I would at night and that's huge to me.

I may not get to sleep through the night tonight but I am glad my little girl is achieving so much and that's the most important thing.

Decisions, decisions....

Has it really been two weeks since I last blogged? Whoa.

I've been feeling the pressure from everyone (even Eric) to return to youth ministry since the day Emily was born and I've made a decision. I guess it's less of a decision and more of an answer to a question that I needed to ask myself. I've been delaying going back for a while and for some reason, the decision to go back didn't really feel right in my spirit. I posed a question to myself and in prayer: What is best for my family and myself?

I realize now that I haven't really ever answered that question in regards to going back. I didn' feel like I was ready and I didn't really know why. At first, I thought it was guilt about Emily but it's really not. I (finally) was praying about it the last few days and I came to a realization:

I need to grow.

I've been in that youth group as a student or a leader for the last 7 years. I haven't been to an adult Wednesday night service ever. Also, with Emily, I can't make the kind of time commitment to these students like I did before. I'm not saying I never will be able to, but my two priorities need to come first - my relationship with God and my family.

I am not going back to youth ministry right now. Until God directs me differently, my Wednesday nights will be either spent with my daughter at home or at an adult Wednesday night service. I want to be an example of a godly woman for my daughter, not the hypocrites she will forever see in the media. I know it will be good for me to go on Wednesday nights to adult services and if I can't, I have a Bible study I just began pursuing. Also, it will be good for Emily to spend time with the other babies for an hour during service.

If I am pleasing God and taking care of my family, that's all I need right now.

On Call

I think the phrase "on call" accurately describes being a parent. I've realized this much more lately.

Emily had a fever, off and on, for two days last week. For two nights, she barely slept. One of the nights, I think there was a 4-hour span that I just kept getting her back to sleep, putting her in her crib, going back to my room, and laying in my bed while I waited for her to get up again. I only know I slept because I had a dream. The second night, I caved and just brought her in our room. She finished the night with only an hour in her crib, the rest on or next to me.

Today, I think she has a cold. She is asleep now and the humidifier is in her room because she's been coughing a little this afternoon. On the upside, I haven't needed the nose sucker thing because it runs every time she sneezes.

Wait, I got off track.

Babies don't care if you think its break time. They can't help it - they are helpless in many ways (even if they are independant in others).

I was reflecting a bit on my relationship with God today and have been thinking about him as I text out this blog. He has plenty on His plate already, I bet. But whenever I need Him, he comes. I need to realize that even though I'm also independant in many ways, I still need Him.

I'm glad to be on-call with Emily and I think I understand an inkling of why God probably is too: When she's sick or lonely or just needs me, she holds me so tight like she will never let go. And even when she does, I know she will end up needing me again. Isn't that the best overtime you can think of?

Emily, I promise to always be on-call. Whether you are 3 or 63.

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My 100th Post (with some BIG news)

I was going to have another title but, when I logged in to start a post, I was informed that I have written 99 posts. Boy, do I have a way to celebrate! And I couldn't be happier to write this entry.
Emily said her first word. :)

Before I begin, I've been encouraging her a lot with this word all week. Tonight, I was buckling her in her carseat after leaving Wal-Mart and she has been making noises a lot. Then, she slowly says, "Mmmmmmmm-mom." My eyes popped out. My jaw dropped. Hers did too. (She copies me a lot, something I will need to always keep in mind.)

I immediately called Eric and my parents. On our drive to see Eric at work, she said it again!! I thought to myself, Now I know it wasn't just a fluke. We visited Eric and she wouldn't say a word. As we got back to the neighborhood, she sat in her carseat and said, "Momma, momma, momma."

I have never had a warmer heart than tonight.

Indirect Encouragement

LI get discouraged a lot as a stay-at-home mom. Most of my friends with kids work and have 2 or more other activities they are committed to. They are at ease when someone else watches their child. They are a whole different breed than me. What sucks is, these are people I am friends with and so I am asked, "Why aren't you..." a lot. Even my husband does this and I understand why everyone does: they always do this or that so the fact that I'm not is strange.

It took me (I think) 6 weeks before I was back at church. I wasn't sleeping well and Emily had no schedule yet and I didn't really have a handle on this whole "get out the door and go" thing, but I really got grief from my husband and others for not going to church. I haven't been at youth group as a leader since before she was born. I explain why its rough (Emily's schedule vs. Falling asleep on the 40-minute drive and keeping me up as weird hours) but I'm trying to get situated to go back next month. I took a month to take her to the store. I'm sure there's more.

I know I'm probably an over cautious momma, but I kep wishing for people to tell me its okay to take things slow. Its okay to take 8 months to return to youth after being involved over 5 years because I was getting used to being a mommy. Its okay to keep a routine. Its okay to keep her home if she's sick. Its okay that I'm not ready to put her in the nursery.

(For the record, my mom is very good at encouraging me. She doesn't always agree, but she encourages me)

Lately, I'm comforted in more ways than one in my friend's blog. Her blog is reassuring as a mommy, insightful as a Christian, and helpful as a wife. I don't know if she'll read this but thank you for writing your blog.

I am seeking God in a different way than I was before. My perspective has become so much more grateful and humble than before. If I glorify and seek Him, this mommy-ing and wife-ing will flow more easily. I need to show my daughter the example of what Godly living is. Right now, that's love. That's all she understands.

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The Pampered

Tonight, I took the time to pamper myself. Romance myself. Indulge myself.

I had a bubble bath. A cozy, bubbly, candlelit bubble bath. I read a book. I closed my eyes, listening to Emily's lullaby CD over the monitor. And all this pampering was ruined by the fact I can't just do nothing. So I started thinking.

If I have time to pamper my body, I should start taking care of my body.

I need to get in shape. I would say "back in shape" but let's face it: I've never really been "in shape." I don't wanna be skinny or even slender. I want to fit below a certain jean size. Yes, that is one of my several selfish reasons. I want to look good. I want to feel good. I want to wear clothing that has no more than one X on it. My one non-selfish reason is because I want to be at a better weight for my next pregnancy so I don't have as many risks. Since we hope to have our kids close in age, I need to start now.

I have two days left of pumping (I'm on one a day now) and I will be giving myself one week of indulgence. It won't be the end of ever snacking or treating again, but it will definitely be less junk.

Right now, Emily's diet is so much more diverse than mine. She had sweet potatoes, peas, zucchini, bananas and more. And all that I just listed are homemade. She has maybe one or two things that are store bought (but that's because I either can't make that or its a gift from my mom) which is great because I save some money while I try out new things. What do I eat? I'm pretty sure I have one vegetable a day. She eats at least 3 different ones a day!

Starting a week from Sunday, I want to start working out and eating smarter. I am going to start at 3 workout-days a week and go from there. Going to be eating more veggies and less processed food.

Goal? By Christmas, I would like to have gone down 2 jean sizes. I think I can.

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6-Month Well Baby

The visit took a while to get to. Emily's appointment was at 10:15am so we arrived about 20 minutes early (since we have gotten in and out sooner before when we did that). We didn't get called back until 10:30am and I believe it was after 11am when we were finally seen.

Everything went smooth after that, though. Dr. Smith came in and did his exam. He tried to coax a smile out of Emily, teasing her about her "serious face" but the girl meant business! He went over her height (27 inches, 90th percentile) and weight (18lbs, 3oz, 90th percentile) and said she is perfectly proportional.

We discussed eating solids and I told him that she's already having solids (single-grain cereal and a veggie) for two meals a day and he wants me to go ahead and add one to breakfast time. He said to go ahead with the stage 1 and 2 foods and then I can add chicken and proteins in about a month or two, but its gonna need to be blended a bit. He said that, whatever I'm doing, keep doing it because she's growing and developing perfectly.

He told me she's perfect. But I already knew that.

All of my mom friends know, that phrase is music to our ears. Right, ladies?

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Celebrations

There's a lot to celebrate this week so I will go in order.

First of all, Emily is almost an unsupported sitter. She took her first ride in the seat part of the cart at Wal-Mart earlier this week. I got her the cutest seat cover. She seems to enjoy the new view of things.

On Monday, Susan came over and she got Emily to giggle. This was a HUGE deal since it was the first time for Susan. I cannot express how happy she was.

They were both a little surprised.

On Wednesday, Emily turned 6 months old! I can't believe she has been with me for half a year now. She's just such a gorgeous girl and she's all smart and funny and great and stuff.

I mean, who else can chew like this?

Yesterday, my parents dropped by for a few hours to put up Emily's FIRST CURTAINS that my mom made for her so it wasn't so sunny in her room during her naps. After, I got to spend some time with them and Emily in the backyard. I kept spritzing Emily with a water bottle to keep her cooled off which she really enjoyed.

And the best part of the week - Today, my parents celebrate 28 years of a HAPPY marriage. So if you know them or see them, wish them a good one!! :) (Love you, Mom and Dad!)

And now, my week shall end this way: Kissing my husband as he leaves for work and cuddling with Emily while watching The Muppet Movie.