Sunday, August 12, 2012

Decisions, decisions....

Has it really been two weeks since I last blogged? Whoa.

I've been feeling the pressure from everyone (even Eric) to return to youth ministry since the day Emily was born and I've made a decision. I guess it's less of a decision and more of an answer to a question that I needed to ask myself. I've been delaying going back for a while and for some reason, the decision to go back didn't really feel right in my spirit. I posed a question to myself and in prayer: What is best for my family and myself?

I realize now that I haven't really ever answered that question in regards to going back. I didn' feel like I was ready and I didn't really know why. At first, I thought it was guilt about Emily but it's really not. I (finally) was praying about it the last few days and I came to a realization:

I need to grow.

I've been in that youth group as a student or a leader for the last 7 years. I haven't been to an adult Wednesday night service ever. Also, with Emily, I can't make the kind of time commitment to these students like I did before. I'm not saying I never will be able to, but my two priorities need to come first - my relationship with God and my family.

I am not going back to youth ministry right now. Until God directs me differently, my Wednesday nights will be either spent with my daughter at home or at an adult Wednesday night service. I want to be an example of a godly woman for my daughter, not the hypocrites she will forever see in the media. I know it will be good for me to go on Wednesday nights to adult services and if I can't, I have a Bible study I just began pursuing. Also, it will be good for Emily to spend time with the other babies for an hour during service.

If I am pleasing God and taking care of my family, that's all I need right now.

No comments:

Post a Comment