Wednesday, May 30, 2012


Eric and I are in need of "married" time.

Lately, Eric has been stuck at work all the time and our schedules are totally opposite. Eric has been at work from 5 or 6 at night until 7 or 8 in the morning. When he gets home that late, he has to go right to sleep or he won't be able to do it again the next night. I can probably count on my hand the number of days he's had off. I think his last day off was a week ago and his next day off won't be until Monday, when he gets off work at 6am (or later). That basically means that he still needs sleep so I probably won't be able to hang out with him until nighttime.

Let me clear something up - I'm not saying that Eric should stop sleeping. I've seen a sleepless Eric and he is not a happy dude. I just wish his work wouldn't abuse him so much. I'd like a day when I actually see Eric longer than the time it takes for him to get ready for work but it seems that his boss doesn't see it like that.

I really want us to go on a date. Our last date (which was our first since before Emily was born) was about 6 weeks ago. I know that, when he finally has a day off, he's probably going to want to relax, which is fine. I just need "us" time too. He had a few hours the other day that we were able to cuddle up on the couch together for a little bit and eat lunch while Emily was asleep but we were both so exhausted, that's pretty much the most energy we had. I'm pretty sure we fell asleep for a little bit.

In short, we've gotta figure out a way to make this work so we both get family time, married time, and "me" time. Unfortunately, it seems that "time" is in short supply at our house.

I wish we could just win the lottery so Eric didn't have to work and we could have that time together.

Monday, May 28, 2012


First, I have to share good news - Emiy has been going to sleep on her own for 13 straight days! She hasn't cried once (thank God!). My mom says I'm spoiled and that's fine with me - I was nervous it would be tougher.

The bad news? For the past few days, she's been up before 5am :( Luckily, this morning, I got her back to sleep until 6am.

Still, small price to pay for an easy night, right?

She's working on turning from front to back but she is nailing back to front! Also, she's improving on sitting up but she can't quite do it unsupported. She's met every other milestone though and I'm thrilled with that. She's tried sweet potatoes (her favorite), peas (not her favorite) and a taste or two of green beans. She's so willing to try everything - I have to keep my own food away from her! She was even eyeballing my English muffin this morning and that is no bueno for Mommy :) And every time I have my water bottle, she keeps trying to drink through the side. I don't know if she's teething but I check every feeding and nothing yet.

Overall, Emily is great.

As for Mommy and Daddy? I think we need a date soon.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Fears and Victories

Well, the last week has been a lot more... relaxing. Yes, relaxing is the right word. It took a few days to get Emily back on her schedule but she was ready to do it.

Last weekend, Eric celebrated my first official Mother's Day. We stayed home from church so he could pamper me a little before he had to sleep for another 12+ hour overnight shift that night. He made me some delicious eggs, bacon, and hash browns. Also, while I was getting ready for the day upstairs, he brought me a bouquet of yellow tulips. When I came downstairs, there were pink lilies waiting for me as well. Emily even went down for her nap on time without any interruptions and when Eric went to sleep, I relaxed on the couch and watched a whole movie. Overall, great day.

Even though the days that lead up to it were nice, I was actually very nervous about this week because I decided it was time to try to get Emily to go to sleep on her own.

There was a lot going through my head at this point. I worried (after reading an article in American Baby) that I had waited too long to begin since the article said you should begin as soon as 8 weeks. The same article said that I shouldn't be giving her a bottle or nursing her to go to sleep (but my issue was more that she has a tendency to fall asleep during her second bottle after naps). All of this was put to rest after I read in What to Expect The First Year: "Teaching your baby to fall asleep without assistance from breast (or bottle) can more practically wait until baby is older - between six and nine months - and nursing less often." I also was worried because I didn't know how she would react. My mom told me that she waited too long to start this with me (nine months) and I cried and cried, taking an hour to go to sleep the first night. In the times I've put her in her crib alone before, she just plays.

But in spite of all of these concerns, I decided to go with my instincts - Emily seems to know when 9:30pm hits and it's a rare occasion for her to stay up later. She is becoming very confident and content. She's been back on schedule for a few days so I decided - This Tuesday was day 1.

So, I fed her 15 minutes earlier than I normally do (to avoid letting her fall asleep) and she was drowsy by the end. I brought her up to her room and put her in her crib while drowsy (whoops). She played for a few minutes but no tears. She was asleep in ten minutes. The next night, she hadn't napped very well and she fell asleep on the bottle. The third night, I put her in her crib wide awake - no tears, asleep in ten minutes. Last night (the fourth night), I did the same as the night before - asleep 3 minutes later. :)

I hope that God keeps blessing me like this. Because I don't think I could let her cry.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Hoping for a BREAK!

I was right to worry about this visit.

They leave tomorrow. It's been a complicated week. I seem to have left my rose-colored glasses somewhere else because I have not had it easy. To put things in perspective for mysel and readers of this blog, I'll summarize the week with a PRO/CON list.

  • Eric's dad (John) has been incredibly helpful with loading the dishwasher and taking out the trash.
  • He has been fabulous with Emily and Emily seems to really know she's safe around him.
  • I've been able to take Emily on a stroller ride nearly every day with Debbie.
  • I had an evening to myself with Emily.
  • Eric's parents have picked up groceries for me a couple of times and grabbed dinner for us one night.
  • John was able to feed Emily a bottle and even fed her a few bites of food.
  • My supply of breastmilk has not fluctuated much.
  • I'm learning that I value my parents a lot more.

  • Emily has not been able to take a single nap undisturbed by yelling or banging in the kitchen or slamming doors, except her overnight sleeping. Which is not always disturbed but always had had stomping up the stairs and doors slamming
  • Debbie called my scrambled eggs "crumbly, like rice" and continued to compare them in a story about her mother-in-law making burnt pancakes because her dad made him like that. Thus, she implied that my mom taught me to make them that way! (Anyone who has had my eggs, please weigh-in on the subject).
  • Debbie also did that to a few other foods of mine (pasta - "plain," for example. And she salt-and-peppered everything I gave her without tasting it).
  • I've felt more left out of and excluded from this family than anything I ever have in my life. Since Eric is at work, I feel like no one's in my corner unless he's home with anything, especially when I ask if we can quiet down for Emily's nap.

For the record, it's not like they are using regular voices and I'm making them whisper. Josh is yelling at the TV or to someone next to him, John yells at Josh, and Debbie's clanging dishes around.

I've been miserable for the last few days. The first day or two was good but now? It's so frustrating. I know it doesn't seem like big stuff on here but I really don't want to get super deep into it. It's just - I'm getting criticized for everything from Emily to my cooking, no one cares if Emily sleeps, and no one is backing me up.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012


The next few days, I plan to relax.

I know that this isn't a word I normally use in describing my days, but it's my mission. Which almost is unrelaxing. I digress...

Eric's parents will be flying in this Thursday to meet their granddaughter for the first time. I'm a little bit stressed... No, "stressed" is the wrong word. I'm not sure what the right word is. But that's not the point.

For the last couple of weeks, I've been preparing the house - dusting fans, vacuuming, mopping, getting the guest room ready, stocking up breastmilk, grocery shopping, all of that. I haven't had anyone over 24/7 for a whole week ever, much less since Emily was born. I just want to be ready when they get here so we can show that we've been taking care of the house. I have forgotten to prepare myself.

I haven't spent a week with anyone other than Eric or Emily since youth camp. I wasn't even housing them; it was just the same cabin. And it was simple because I was in charge and there was no conflict there. Here, it's a little more complicated - we're staying in their house with their stuff and our stuff, using their furniture, sleeping in their master bedroom at a house that they are technically still in charge of but we are living in and have the freedom to do what we want in. I just don't know how it will be while they are here. Will they assert their authority and it will be like we are staying with them, not vice versa? If so, how do I assert my authority in regards to Emily since she has certain routines? If not, am I supposed to take care of their things as guests, such as laundry and tidying after them?

This is why I choose to relax for the next few days. All that needs to be done is vacuuming (Eric) and sweeping the kitchen (me). Tomorrow, I'll load up the laundry. I need to relax thought because I've been on overdrive and probably been worrying about all the wrong things. I'm going to spend time with my daughter and relaxing with books and movies.

Or shopping online.

Or giving myself a pedicure.

Wow, I need to NOT make a list of to-do's for once.