Thursday, October 13, 2011

Don't you believe in God?

I realize now that I'm overly frustrated about that exam. About the 1-hour glucose results, about my doctor's appointment, everything! Over the weekend, I worried and stressed over the outcome of the 3-hour glucose test that I haven't even taken yet! So, I made a decision on Friday - I'm cutting out the fast food, the frequent carb-overloaded nights. I need to be healthy because I want a good score on my test (which I'm doing tomorrow). I started doing the same thing I did when I had to take the 3-hour during my 1st trimester (they tested me early due to my weight) - Worrying. Panicking. Rationalizing that it's not really me. Trying to figure out the millions of reasons why my blood sugar was high. Thinking I can fix this on my own. Researching gestational diabetes to the point of obsession and freaking out because I can't give myself a shot since I can't even look when I receive one!

So I vented to my mom. She asked me why I was worrying about everything if I believe in God's healing and timing and that everything is in His control (not exact words, but it's the jist). And then I thought to myself,

Yeah, Krystle. Why worry?

There's a Bible event in Matthew about Jesus walking on water and Peter sees him. Peter says to Jesus, if it's really Him, to tell him to come onto the water. Jesus tells him to come and Peter TRUSTS JESUS and walks out on the water. But as soon as a little bit of wind comes, Peter freaks out, starts to sink and cries out for Jesus' help. And the best thing about this is, even though Peter worries when he doesn't need to and loses faith and focus for a moment, JESUS reacts like this:

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
- Matthew 14:31

Now, what I love about this is not only did Jesus catch Peter and save him in spite of the doubt in his heart; Jesus IMMEDIATELY reached out his hand and caught him.

I had to look up some other verses on what this worry was doing to me:

Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are
- Matthew 6:27-29

Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.
- Proverbs 12:25

So, I've been eating right. I'm been being careful of what I put in my body and my mind and my heart. I'm trusting God that He's taking care of me and Emily no matter what. My God is bigger than this blood test. :)

No comments:

Post a Comment