The Worrywart.

I've become a pregnant hypochondriac. Lately, I think I have "round ligament pain."

What is round ligament pain? Round ligament pain refers to a type of pelvic pain caused by stretching of the round ligaments.

That being said, I have been mentally freaking out over every ache, pain, cramp, spot, sneeze, cough, and hiccup. Every time something happens, what's the first thing I do that I know I shouldn't? I look it up. But I don't look it up in What To Expect When You're Expecting. I look it up on message boards and other programs and there is ALWAYS one person who says "...and then, I miscarried" somewhere in their comment.

The beginning of this pregnancy was full of scary things. Let me explain:
1. The test was positive (probably my most scary moment).
2. Telling Eric.
3. Going to my ultrasound to find out how far along I am and them not finding anything in the gestational sac. This resulted in 3 blood tests and another ultrasound.
4. Bleeding at 12 weeks. My nurse told me what I needed to look out for and that if it happens again, I need to go to Labor and Delivery because I might be miscarrying.
5. Went in at 13 weeks for my appointment. Couldn't find heartbeat with Doppler (added to scary moment #4). Resulted in another ultrasound.
6. Pains that are commonly associated with round ligament pain. But because of the pains, it made me worry about miscarrying.

I do not enjoy being freaked out but there it is. I only just told my youngest sister about #4 on Friday night because she was a little nervous when #3 happened and I didn't want to scare her if it was nothing. Which it was.

I only wonder what I'll be like when this baby actually arrives! My poor friends will be subjected to antibacterial hand sanitizer every time they want to hold the baby. My house will have everything off of the floor. My poor baby will be swaddled to the nines and my pediatrician will be on speed dial with my mom.

I don't know how I'll be a mother :) Maybe you're supposed to worry about all of that. My mom has told me time and time again, "If you don't protect your child, who will?" I don't want to be overly protective but how can I just sit back? I hope this child has a good sense of forgiveness and knows that I do all of this out of love. I'm already wanting to say "no" to everyone who offers to baby-sit but maybe that's partially because I'm the one who has been wanting to meet this baby my whole life.

I just want anyone of my friends out there to know - I don't need to justify to you why I'll do what I'll do when we're raising our kids. If I choose not to spank, that's not your choice; it's mine. If I want to breastfeed only and not use formula, that's also not your choice. I appreciate all of the advice and feedback that I'm getting but I'm making the choices that I feel is right and as long as my baby is healthy, I'm happy.