"When I first saw the twins [when they were born], I really liked them. And, at the same time, there was a ghost over my shoulder saying, 'What if I hadn't liked them?'" -- Tilda Swinton.
This quote just baffled me. I mean, I'm concerned with a lot of things when my baby is born but I've never considered that I wouldn't be head-over-heels in love. Should I? : /
I mean, I haven't had my baby yet but I wonder what my thoughts will be like about him or her. I think that's why I've decided to stop making assumptions about the sex. I mean, I want a boy and a girl and I've been really struggling with how much I want a little girl. I started thinking about how bad of a person I will feel if I find out I'm having a boy and don't immediately feel joy just for knowing. Or if I spend so much time dwelling on how beautiful a little girl with auburn hair and emerald eyes and have a boy with blonde hair and brown eyes! I mean, I know it's a really stupid comparison but I want my child to always know they are always wanted, just as they are.
Honestly, it doesn't really matter what I'm wanting or scared of or anything - it's not in my hands for most of it. I can only do as much as I'm able to.
With that, I'll leave you with a few quotes about children:
In a dark moment I ask, "How can anyone bring a child into this world?" And the answer rings clear, "Because there is no other world, and because the child has no other way into it." --Robert Brault
Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. --Author Unknown
I was worried with both that I wouldn't like them, which is probably a testament to my situation more than to the beautiful babies themselves.
ReplyDeleteI also think that it has something to do with the fact we spend so much time imagining the perfect baby.