My Time

I'm exhausted and I want to take some time for me.

The last six or seven weeks were rough before Eric got a new job so I didn't really expect to have a "me" day soon. Eric's been able to go out with the guys and our friends and that's only been because our friends are generous.

(By the way, this is NOT my way of saying to people that I want everyone to pay for me - I'm simply pointing out that he would not have been able to do it without them. So thanks.)

I normally stay at home because the gas is a lot of money to make multiple trips and so, when I want me time, I prefer to leave the house. When I'm home, even when she's napping, I clean the house and cook and take care of other things so that's not really a "break." I feel like there's an incorrect perception that, as a stay at home mom, you have plenty of free time. You don't. Since Emily's been mobile, if I want to clean, I have to have Eric watch her or wait till she's asleep. If I eat, I need to hold my plate at my chin so she doesn't reach it.

In spite of all of that, I love spending time with her. She's smart, funny, and concentrates so much on everything that its adorable. The only problem is, when I don't get a break, I get overwhelmed with the cleaning and her impatience and not eating without my fork getting stolen. I can't take a break at home because, when Eric watches her, I still am available to help her or clean.

I don't feel like a bad mom to know that I need time away. There was a girls' night on the night of the guys' night but I didn't go. That turned out to be a good thing because I was told the kids out-numbered the adults and relaxing wouldn't have happened. We go and see our friends (which I love) but when we go out, I take care of Emily most of the time we are out and that's not really relaxing for me.

I've realized that being a mom is a constant state of alertness. You are constantly making sure they either don't get hurt or don't swallow something they shouldn't. I got the gate for the stairs but she started trying to climb the gate and screams when she can't go upstairs. I really don't know how single moms do this. You know, those people have babysitters.

I was going to have time today but Eric had to work. Maybe I'll go Saturday. I just need to get out of the house and drive alone in the car without worrying about being a mom or wife or housekeeper or cook or safety patrol - I want to go to a movie or lunch, relax, and unwind.

Seasons Change

First of all, if you are still reading my blog after all of this time, thank you. I'm not sure who does (other than my mom).

This last week has been great. :) I started my diet on Monday last week and my 1-week measurements say I lost an inch and a half at my waist and hips! Its probably mostly water weight but it is NOT welcome to return. I enjoyed my treat on Wednesday night (popcorn and a mini-soda) and it was so easy to stick with it. Whenever I crave something on a non-treat night, I'm going to remind myself of those inches.

Also, Emily is tear-free at bedtime all week now! She has woken a few times after I've put her to bed but I think she's cutting another tooth. We had a visit from my parents on Saturday and she was out like a light by 8:55pm and slept past 7:00am. We almost didn't make it out for church. Today, she said "buh-bye" and "you" for the first time. She also learned to clap yesterday.

Best news - Eric was just offered a department manager job at Wal-Mart in Sierra Vista. He said we are a couple months away from moving because we need to take care of other things first (but I'm thinking it will happen after the holidays). We are still looking for a better job and PRAYING he gets an interview with the civil service job he applied to but this is a good step forward while we wait.

As for today? Today, I am proud that I made it a week on my diet, happy that my husband is employed at a better job, and excited that my little girl is making such progress.

New job, Emily's progress, and dieting! Oh my!

A lot has happened in the last few weeks so I guess I better update you!

First of all, Eric and I celebrated our fourth anniversary last week on Thursday. We had a roasted chicken for dinner and all three of us had dinner together at the table.

GOOD NEWS ALERT! Eric has a job as a manager trainee or shift lead or something at McDonald's. He's glad he's bringing home income but he is still seeking a better job. He admitted it felt good to work ONLY 8 hours at a shift. Instead of 15 hours. AND he got off on time AND he's able to go to youth on Wednesday and Fry Bread (our church's booth at Art in the Park this weekend). So, in spite of this not being what he planned, they are being really nice about giving him the time that he asked for church.

Emily has 3 teeth showing (two bottom, one top) and I think she has another top tooth coming in. She's crawling great, pulling herself up, and I think she'll take her first steps soon. She's saying "dada," "mom-momma," "wow," "baba," and now, "way." I think that one comes from us saying "no way" when she shakes her head at us. I started putting her to sleep on her own almost two weeks ago. The first two nights were really rough. Then, I added some structure and she's been improving since. I'm trying to take in all the advice that I'm getting and using what makes sense to me. She was really tired so she fell asleep before I put her in her bed last night but the night before, she cried less than 30 seconds before going to sleep. The crying has been the hardest part so I was a little happy that she fell asleep on the way to her room last night. She hasn't been up past 9:30pm and hasn't been awake before 6:30am for the day since she started going to bed on time. Even better, she hasn't woken in the middle of the night in weeks!

I'm not sure if it's actually helped in the nursery since she's going through an "only Mommy" phase, but she only cried the first five minutes and the last five minutes this past Wednesday and only a little bit on Sunday morning. Which apparently stopped when Lisa cuddled her. lol

Emily had her 9-month check-up. She weighs 21 lbs and 1oz, and she's 29 inches long now. That puts her in the 81th percentile for her weight and 86th percentile for height. She's healthy and we got the OK for allowing her to eat any dairy except regular milk. So, she's tried string cheese, shredded cheddar cheese, and vanilla yogur. She also had mashed potatoes with a little bit of sour cream in it and LOVED it.

As for me? Yesterday, I started the Abs diet. I think the hardest thing for me will be avoiding popcorn at nighttime - it's my only real weakness when it comes to eating healthy. I didn't give in last night, though, and that was my first triumph. This program is 6 weeks (initially) and working out is optional the first two weeks. I really want to prove to myself that I have enough discipline to stick with this all 6 weeks. The program allows you to cheat on the diet for one meal or snack a week so I think that's going to make it easier. Plus, it's not as restrictive as most other diets. Mainly, it's just eating healthy.

I didn't weigh-in before beginning since I don't have a working scale, but I'm going to be bold and post my starting points...

Size: 22
Measurements: 45-41-55

I'm hoping I'll be down at least one size by the end of six weeks. If I succeed, I'm going to try to keep this diet through the holidays and just make my cheat meals on the actual holiday. That being said, I probably won't get past my birthday (December 18th) because Emily's birthday (December 20th) is right after and then, Christmas.