First Christmas for Emily is coming!

I think that I'm finally getting the mindset like I feel I should have to be a mom of a little one: wanting to do what's best for my daughter, avoiding planning things without knowing her schedule, starting to feel more protective. But then, I had a realization - I get to start Christmas shopping for her!

I know that she'll just be an infant and not doing a whole lot other than eating, pooping, and sleeping for the first few weeks (okay, a month or two) but I want to get her things to entertain her. I've found toys for newborn, 3 months and up, 6 months and up, and 9 months and up. There's a few of each and I started to recall how my baby picture at one week old was me in the middle of all of these Christmas gifts.

The thought just came to mind:

How will she open them?

I mean, I could open them for her but it kind of defeats the purpose of wrapping them. I could just put bows on them but that's stupid. I almost feel bad to open them for her! Those are HERS!

How did all of you do your baby's first Christmas or how are you planning to? Comment on here or send me a message.

What it was supposed to be

When I started this blog, I wanted it to be all about the baby and my pregnancy and for that to be the primary focus. I started to feel bad because it wasn't just about that - I started making this about my family, friends, my issues, my victories, my life! And I guess that's okay because I have found it easier to do things while I've been writing this.

It's easier to allow myself to worry and be reassured. It's easier to stand strong in my faith because I need to. It's easier to rely on God because the more insignificant I feel when I write these, the more God puts readers in my way to give me confidence. It's more real that Emily is coming because, since I started this blog in June, so much has happened.

I really hope I'm able to access this website in a few years. I also hope that I'm able to keep it up because I want to have Emily eventually see how I really feel and have felt.

This morning would be a stressful morning, because my initial reaction to situations is to worry and to try and handle it myself. But this morning, I read my own blog on the worry I felt before and I was reassured. I realize that it doesn't just apply to the diabetes that I could have easily had but it applies to all of my worries.

I can't change a thing by worrying, doubting, and ignoring what's happening. This morning, Satan is trying to get to me and Eric and I just refuse to let him.

GET BEHIND ME SATAN! YOU ARE A STUMBLING BLOCK TO ME AND DO NOT HAVE IN MIND THE THINGS OF GOD, BUT THE THINGS OF MAN!

Who says it better than Jesus?

I believe that God's already taken care of the situation.

What a week!

This past week has been very busy for me.

For starters, I've been packing our house. We're moving and Eric's on overnights without a day off until this past Wednesday so I did it all on my own. Man, that was a lot, especially considering I have less than 7 weeks to go now! I didn't do any heavy lifting on my own except one box and that was only because I was running out of room.

Thursday was my last birthing class. I hope I learned enough to calm my child. Or maybe she will be calm either way. I pray that I am that lucky :)

On Friday, I had my doctor's appointment. He said I "looked a little small" (which I've never been told in my life so I was not arguing!) but everything measured right and everything looked perfect to him! That was great to hear, especially after my last appointment. My next appointment won't be for 2 more weeks.

On Friday night, we had our 5-year anniversary for the office. I got a cute, black dress that I can wear again after Emily is born. It was fun but I was on my feet the whole time so I only stayed until about 6:30pm (started about 5pm).

Saturday was my AMAZING baby shower. I had such a good time, all thanks to my mom and Susan. They made some amazing food and everyone just gave me so many things from my registry. One of my coworkers even got the car seat I registered for, which I definitely did not expect - I only put it on there to get the discount later! Everyone was so great and I had a great time and having the party makes me miss my mom's parties :) After the shower, I met up with Stephanie for dinner and we didn't leave the restaurant until almost 10pm. When I finally got home, I packed until probably midnight.

On Sunday, we visited Eric's parents since they are moving to Virginia. They left early yesterday morning. They are such a huge blessing to us, even more so since they are letting us live in their house rent-free (we only have to pay utilities) and they left it almost fully furnished! When I got home, it was about 7pm and I got right back to packing. I stopped for a little bit at 10pm but I coudn't stand that it wasn't done so I finished (I thought) at 12:30am and went to bed.

Yesterday was Eric's first day off without commitments so we decided just to relax. I fell asleep on the couch twice (8:30pm, woke up at 10pm, fell back asleep at 10:30pm, woke up again at 1:30am) and when I woke up, I put away laundry and tried to get some stuff done but Eric sent me to bed. I woke up again at around 4am feeling horribly sore and my back and the front of my belly hurt. Took two Tylenol, some water, switched positions a few times and was able to fall back asleep in about 30 minutes.

I can't believe that I have just a few days more than 6 weeks to go. I think at this point, I'm not really scared or worried. I just want to have her here with me.

RESULTS!

I DO NOT HAVE GESTATIONAL DIABETES!!

I called about my test results and they said everything came back okay. I went and had them make me a copy so I can be all excited.

I knew my God would come through.

Moving, not shaking!

I'm having a pretty good weekend.

Accomplishment #1:
Went grocery shopping for the next two weeks and resisted buying the baby stuff I registered for.
To be fair, I only have a couple of things on my registry. Mostly bath stuff. But I have been firmly instructed to NOT buy anymore baby stuff until after my baby shower next weekend.

Accomplishment #2:
Learned to swaddle a baby a.k.a. made a baby burrito.
I had my second-to-last birthing class this week, "Happiest Baby on the Block." I learned how to soothe a colicky baby using the 5 S's (Swaddle, Side/Stomach, "Shh" i.e. white noise, Swinging, and Sucking), how to determine if it is actually colic, how to properly swaddle a baby, and a few other things. I also learned some interesting facts, like the fact that the baby recognizes the mother instantly and that talking to the baby while in the womb will make it so within 5 MINUTES of the baby being born, she will recognize those voices. How cool is that?

Accomplishment #3:
Began packing the house.
I'm working on this as we speak. I have the whole house to packing and we start moving boxes next Tuesday, I believe. I spread out the packing over the next week. But there's a lot to do.

On a side note, I just found out that one of my friends is also pregnant! My friend Sarah L. just found out that she is pregnant with her first child with her husband Shane. BIG CONGRATULATIONS!!

Don't you believe in God?

I realize now that I'm overly frustrated about that exam. About the 1-hour glucose results, about my doctor's appointment, everything! Over the weekend, I worried and stressed over the outcome of the 3-hour glucose test that I haven't even taken yet! So, I made a decision on Friday - I'm cutting out the fast food, the frequent carb-overloaded nights. I need to be healthy because I want a good score on my test (which I'm doing tomorrow). I started doing the same thing I did when I had to take the 3-hour during my 1st trimester (they tested me early due to my weight) - Worrying. Panicking. Rationalizing that it's not really me. Trying to figure out the millions of reasons why my blood sugar was high. Thinking I can fix this on my own. Researching gestational diabetes to the point of obsession and freaking out because I can't give myself a shot since I can't even look when I receive one!

So I vented to my mom. She asked me why I was worrying about everything if I believe in God's healing and timing and that everything is in His control (not exact words, but it's the jist). And then I thought to myself,

Yeah, Krystle. Why worry?

There's a Bible event in Matthew about Jesus walking on water and Peter sees him. Peter says to Jesus, if it's really Him, to tell him to come onto the water. Jesus tells him to come and Peter TRUSTS JESUS and walks out on the water. But as soon as a little bit of wind comes, Peter freaks out, starts to sink and cries out for Jesus' help. And the best thing about this is, even though Peter worries when he doesn't need to and loses faith and focus for a moment, JESUS reacts like this:

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
- Matthew 14:31

Now, what I love about this is not only did Jesus catch Peter and save him in spite of the doubt in his heart; Jesus IMMEDIATELY reached out his hand and caught him.

I had to look up some other verses on what this worry was doing to me:

Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are
- Matthew 6:27-29

Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.
- Proverbs 12:25

So, I've been eating right. I'm been being careful of what I put in my body and my mind and my heart. I'm trusting God that He's taking care of me and Emily no matter what. My God is bigger than this blood test. :)

Belly Progression through 10/5/11

Still a girl!

So Emily refused to face the camera so we ended up with a side-view. That shouldn't really surprise me considering that I never take a picture head-on :)

Everything on the ultrasound that the technician could tell me without giving actual results is normal. She's still head-down, her heartbeat is normal. I was watching when the sizes were automatically generating the weeks and such but I think everything came out to between 31 and 32 weeks. "Large for date," yeah right. I'm sure everything will be perfect and I've just gotta be smart about what I'm eating now.

I'm probably going to do my glucose test on Friday. I'm putting my faith in God and going to do what I can on my part to ensure that gestational diabetes continues to be a non-issue.

Oh, and she's still a girl.

Getting bigger is no bueno!

I had my doctor's appointment yesterday and my doctor had some concerns.

First of all, my 1-hour glucose came back high (again) @ 189 so I have to take the 3-hour test again. I'm believing in my faithful God. However, I'm also remembering that this is just another reminder that what I take in, so does Emily. For the rest of my pregnancy, I'm going to be very limited in my "treat" intake. I'm now seeing the doctor every 2 weeks so I have to get it done soon. I'll probably get it on Friday next week.

He said that I gained too much weight since my last appointment (10lbs). Which is a little bit unfair because he said I could gain a pound a week and I gained 1 extra and he was really concerned about it. He measured me and said I'm measuring "large for date" (no kidding, I started out large!) and so I have to have another ultrasound. I thought I was fine for being SEVEN MONTHS PREGNANT but he said that I realistically can't gain more than 8 more pounds during my pregnancy and I have 9 weeks to go. I'm fine with having another ultrasound - she'll actually look like a baby now!!

My doctor thinks that all of those factors may be gestational diabetes  BUT my God is bigger, better, and more powerful than those test results. I was so excited about God taking care of us so I can't let a paper with a number on it change that. I have to keep my faith.

Her heartbeat was a nice, solid 141 bpm. She's a healthy kid, but I know she won't be skinny. I've looked in the mirror before! lol

Oh, and we learned about breastfeeding in our birthing class this past Thursday - positioning, holding, etc. Eric was there and I was happy about that. However, I will eternally be scarred by the video of how far your breasts really go during breastfeeding. lol.

I'm so sorry I've been gone!

I know my blog had a little vacation for the last month and it's been a weird one.

Right now, I'm starting my 31st week which means we are now in a countdown :) My mom has put together a calendar for bets of when she will be born to spice it up a bit. Maybe we will use it at my baby shower? Who knows? :) Now that I'm in week 31, I finally am looking the part. It's kind of funny - I've spent the whole pregnancy WISHING I looked 7 months pregnant but I never thought about the FEELING 7 months pregnant. I hope this doesn't sound like I'm milking it or anything, but sitting up? Not as easy as before! She's not really high in my ribcage though so I can breathe nicely (unlike some of the other pregos I know). However, I think she likes to head-butt my bladder because almost every time I stand up or someone pokes my belly (thanks, Mom), I have to pee. I'm getting tired again (which I was expecting) and realizing I would like to be at home more.

I don't think that becomig a homebody is a side effect of the last trimester, but I certainly prefer it. I'll probably prefer it more when Emily is here.

What else have I done? Oh! I started attending a birthing class a few weeks ago. Mom went with me to the first one since Eric was still in training. She got upset that, when we were introducing ourselves, I didn't say I'm married. So, to make sure people knew this, her subconcious slipped it in during our hospital tour. Overall, the class has been really helpful in understanding what my body will go through. Eric was there the second week where they showed a birth and then the afterbirth. Poor man - I've never seen a more horrified look on his face than when the placenta came out. The teacher commmented on what a beautiful and healthy placenta it was. Eric replied, "There is nothing beautiful about that!" (He was really grossed out, to say the least. Then again, the placenta looked like an alien stomach, so there's not a lot of room for "pretty.") We also have a booklet for the class. That reminds me - it's a Sara Lee bagel, by the way. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, click here.) Eric wasn't at the third class but we watched a Cesarean birth in animation. All I will say about that at the moment is, I will avoid that at all costs.

I have to take my 1-hour glucose again since I'm past 28 weeks. I'm taking it Tuesday and my next OB appointment is Friday. At my last appointment, I was told to gain a pound a week but I think I went over by 2 or 3 pounds on my anniversary weekend.

I have to go right now but I'll post belly picture later.